My Profession

I'm a Project Manager. I've been one for some 10+ years now (not counting the 3 years I took off to teach and see the world). I like being a PM, sure there are parts I really don't care for, but on the whole - it's not a bad gig. It fits many of the things I do well and it certainly pays well. I like humour in my work, and the profession does lend itself to it at times... So I got no real complaints.

So here I was at a 3-day Project Management Conference at the Toronto Conference Centre surrounded by a kazillion other PMs. You would think I would have enjoyed it, trading experiences with my PM brethren, sharing war stories with my 'brothers-in-arms', my colleagues, people - like family - who understand and can relate to projects failing in the face of stakeholders, etc...

I hated nearly everyone I met.

It was like a freakn' Twilight Zone episode...

As far as I can figure it - everyone fit into 1 of 2 groups -

1) The smiling networking types who wore perfect business suits, gave out business cards like they were candy and whose teeth were an unnatural shade of white (think neon - as in brightness the space shuttle can see from it's current orbit) - they talk to you rather than talk with you always smiling like they want something, need something,... and since I find myself with a very popular company these daze, I was the fresh tuna in their shark cage. My advice is that same as I use with crazy people on the subway - don't make eye contact.

2) The other group, were much less pervasive - and let's call these the anal, number-obsessed, perfectionist robots. They have two speeds - speed-walking and sitting-taking-notes-on-every-single-thing-said. They are very efficient, very thorough, and will correct you a millisecond after you make a small error on anything. Having a conference with them is very intense. passionate and very much like most Monty Python skits. God love 'em, they are born to run projects and drive normal people to the brink of insanity. The know photocopiers, understand fax machines, and can do things with powerpoint and MS Project, that will amaze and astound you. They're the lovable freaks of nature who I hope you never get stuck in the elevator with.

So my question: Which one am I?

I am a PM.

I feel like a PM.

I get paid as a PM.

I do manage projects...

so I must be either number 1 or number 2.

I need a drink.