EOY Report

Most companies have an end-of-year report and since I haven't fed my blog in quite awhile now - I'll do one as we shut down 2007.

Overall
The key words for my 2007 - stability, solidify, confidence and maturity. The maturity one sort of surprised me. I feel like a ship that can withstand the stormiest of conditions... it's a real nice feeling... and quite a new one for me. This is not me being overconfident, I continue to realize how life can really derail you - knock you on your a$$... I'm just feeling strong and stable as I conclude this year.

The Good
-The year had me complete the transition from my years overseas of living a transient life, drinking like a fish (like I was in my 20s again), with little or no responsibilities to worry about, and me being a wide-eyed kid exploring the world.... to my regular, stay-at-home, steady as she goes, responsible life once again. In short, I am a Canadian once again and a very proud one at that... Connected to my family & friends again in Toronto... My career has solidified very nicely - and I truely feel like a Project Manager. I've even begun to combine some teaching with PMing - which brings together my 2 careers quite nicely. I hope to complete my PM resurrection with my PMP (Project Management Professional) designation early in the new year (need to take an exam for that)... On the health front, I'm finally seeing a doctor once again (was on a waiting list for year!!) and I'm taking care of myself on those fronts where I need to).

-One of the biggest surprises this year is that I'm feeling more secure in myself... hell, even friends/family have commented on this. I attribute this to taking risks (and surviving them ;-)). I guess the more difficulty you crawl through, the stronger you become.

- I'm laughing at life a lot more these days... I seem to be finding "the funny" more that I ever have. God help those who have to work with me ;-). An example: Last Easter, I smashed up my beloved Honda Civic on an real icy day... I recall telling my uncle and laughing about it. Why did I laugh? Because I know I didn't do anything wrong and these things in life happen (hell, I haven't been in an accident for nearly 20 years and I've driven alot). I'm at a point when these things happen - so I laugh. I guess I don't take myself so seriously as I did in the past... Actually, I'm finding much of life quite silly (see maddening Bush re-election).

The Bad
- I've neglected some close friends in Ottawa and I continue to not be proud of myself on that front. They have been wonderful to me - and I don't know how to reconcile this - not sure if I can at this point.
- I stopped blogging in the late summer to concentrate on writing. I have failed miserably on this front. Most of my time was spent on attending my PMP classes and keeping up with my studies. Not that this was bad mind you - but I didn't follow through and wonder if I have the passion to see this writing thing through.
- I'm still single (perhaps I'll blog about that one day - given enough bourbon ;-))
- Sigh. My Maple Leafs - Argh... 'nuf said!
- I've noticed that I'm on Facebook a lot and continue playing online poker in the evenings - this tells me that my laziness has increased quite a bit. No exercise for a diabetic is bad - staying at home alone (antisocial) is really bad for someone who has a history of depression. Need to push myself in the new year by getting involved in groups and classes, etc... Part of the problem is that Waterloo is not ideal for a single guy (great for families). I need energy and activity around me - it 'gets me out the door'.
- I mentioned above that I'm 'laughing at life' more - there's a down side here. I've become cynical about people, institutions, governments and those in charge - and I express this through humour, sarcasm, etc.... I've developed a real edge to my words and outlook of the world's condition. Funny, I don't think my mother (whose been gone for some 25 years now) would recognize me any longer. I don't feel like the nice polite obedient boy any longer... I feel like attacking the utter insanity around me. Perhaps - I'll write and/or take up stand up comedy again as a platform for my need to thrash out at these things that so bother me. I guess what I'm saying here is -I'm not sure if I'm contributing positively to the world's condition. I think I'm becoming a 'difficult person' in life. A downright cynical bastard.
- I surprised myself with a quick entry in a friend's blog recently. My entry had to do with my dissatisfaction with most people I come across in life. In short - I find most folks quite boring. And to be clear - they are not boring - I find them boring. I realize being single with no my family of my own - I can't relate to those around me when they talk of mortgages, Parent/Teacher nights, newly purchased flat screen TV, their stocks, a new Kelsey's opening up at the strip mall, etc... You see working in a hi-tech company, in a small community -you work with fathers and mothers and homeowners and high-incomed managers (who just luv their Future Shop purchases) - I guess after so many years - I'm bored. I find this life quite uninspiring.. I sorta' feel like I've been a spy behind enemy lines.
(For friends who read this and fit into the above category - take no offence. This is on me as I'm the one who doesn't belong. For whatever reason - I'm carving a very different path through life).


Looking Ahead - 2008
- Estonia: My brother, my godmom and I are heading to Estonia to visit, connect, deepen family ties, explore, etc... I'm so looking forward to this in the spring...
- PMP: Need to hit the books again and pass the exam. Further solidification.
- Toronto: Late summer/early fall (around the 2 year mark of me living here in Waterloo) - I'm planning on moving back to my hometown. I need access to more energy and like to explore my creative side a lot more (writing, improv, stand up, sketches, etc...)
- Writing - need to commit to this.
- Antisocial - need to spend less time with the Thinkpad and more with the living.
- Bush: Looking forward to the change in 2008 -but I wonder if Americans will continue to be "dumber than doorknobs" and elect an idiot once again. Can my cynicism reach any lower than it is today???
- This blog: Not sure.


There's a saying on my wall - it reads: "Will not go quietly into the night".

This means everything is on the table!

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah.

Safe and Happy 2008.

Martin.