Still Calling

So here I am, stuck in my flat with a gimpy foot and unable to hobble to school on this Monday morning.... Well, I might as well do some blogging...

More random thoughts on 'The Calling'...

You know, there are times when I find myself between 2 very conflicting worlds ....

One is the idealistic, the magical, very spiritual, optimistic and hopeful with endless possibilities. That there's more happening in life than the dreary day-in and day-out routine of life. That there's a bigger picture that we can't see, but instinctively know that we are guided somehow, someway on some path. And we know deep down, that this is where we should be and can't for the life of us, explain how we know this. I like it when I'm firmly in this world because I feel hopeful, positive and very alive. I think this is the world where you find callings and soulmates and god and love. I also know, that many others who will never acknowledge that such a world exists and think anyone who resides here, is just plain nuts. That their chew-chew train has left the tracks. So that's one world where I have lived at times in my life. Lately though, say in the last year, I have lost this world... and I'm having trouble finding it once again... Anyone got a map?

The other world is a darker, somber, colder one - rooted in the 'real' world, where pragmatism is the law. It is where your feet are firmly on the ground and you live in the here & now. Your income tax forms are all uptodate, you know exactly how much gas is in the car and how much money is currently in your wallet. You take pride in a job well done, have definite opinions on the world problems, and know the exact date of your final mortgage payment. It is not a sad world, rather it is the world of accomplishments, achievements and building one's life. It is the world in which as all have to live, to some extent. There are no callings here. No soulmates, god or love. Instead, we have career choices. We have spouses, religion and marriage. This is where the smart, successful people live - where they raise smart successful children. This is the world of backyard BBQs.

People in the second world don't fully understand the people in the first world.

People in the first world understand, all too well, people in the second world.

As for me... I need the 'real world' to live, meet my commitments, to survive, and be accepted by society. But it is the first world that makes life worth living... That adds a sense of wonder, of colour & amazement to my life. It is the world of mystery and faith.

I'd like to find this world once again.... to feel connected... to be amazed...

That's what I want for Christmas.

(Yeah... I know... I can hear you... Is it a gimpy foot or a gimpy head that I have today :-))