Choices

Every once in awhile we all stop and realize how the choices that were made be people before us, dictate the major direction our lives take. The choices our parents especially made, influence almost every facet of your life today. Sometimes, it's the little choices and other times it's the biggies that affect generations of families for years to come. It's pretty amazing, really.

Over sixty years ago in 1944, my parents and my uncle fled their homeland of Saaremaa (island off the west coast on Estonia) along with thousand other countrymen, and fled in boats to Sweden on the eve of the post war Soviet occupation. There, they stayed for several years hoping to return home some day and reunite with family. When it became obvious that this was not possible - they made the difficult decision to move on and start a new life in Canada. This seems to be the story of every immigrant from every country during those post war days. Hell, it still applies today from many of today's troubled countries.

Many Estonians who stayed behind after the war were shipped off to Siberia to work in labour camps, etc.. Many prominent citizens were executed. For my parents, now living in Sweden in the late 40s, it must have been an excruciating time thinking of those they left behind. And the daily wondering what happened to their family. How does one reconcile the guilt and grief of leaving those behind - and of choosing to live free? Did they feel like traiters? Or did they feel deeply that they did what they had to do? Was there even a choice? I, for one, can't even fathom living in those days under those conditions.

My roots, it seems, are rife with tough character. And, even as a 5-year-old, I saw this in my father.

When I speak to my uncle about this days in Sweden - his answer is typical Estonian, modest and understated - 'we did what we had to, there is no glory in this.'

Choices.