Yesterday, I concluded my entry on random lists with '10 pieces of advice people have told me through the years'.
Let's take a closer look at them...
1. "Head up, best foot forward and whatever happens, happens"
This is what my uncle told me during my mom's funeral in '84. It means much more to me today than it did back then. Respect the unpredictability of life, honour your past (especially your mistakes) but always look to move forward with no regrets.
2. "Never regret what you've done, regret what you haven't done"
My godmom's favourite saying and it's a good one. My year in Taiwan, trying stand up and heading off to Estonia - is me doing exactly this.
3. "Baby steps can move mountains"
I still have trouble with this one due to impatience and the feeling that the clock is ticking on my life (I'm in my mid-40's for Christ Sakes!!!). My tendency is to do it once big - not every day little by little. I'm trying to change, though...
4. "You can't succeed without first failing"
This is big for me - and have not learned it fully yet. It's embedded in my head but my renegade emotions still get the better of me. I think though, if I may say, I have come a long way ...
5. "You are responsible for all events in your life - so own them"
I get so frustrated at those who are waiting for life's' circumstances to align and then they think they will be happy. Bullsh*t. Own it. Work with it. Learn from it. Grow with it. Overcome it. Celebrate it. Honour it.
6. "You get out of life what you put into it"
The simplicity of this is so beautiful. If you spend your days on the sidelines, then life will pass you by. Your choice.
7. "Apathy is man's greatest enemy"
I call this the slow suicide.
8. "Your life is always telling you what is next"
Folks always seem to look outside themselves for answers. I think all you need to know is found inside IF you have the guts to face it.
9. "Honour thyself first and foremost"
This the one where I have failed miserably at over the years. But I have hope to make progress as I approach my fifties.
10. "Be kind to all for everyone is on a long, hard journey"
I love this one and is one that I do try to follow everyday. Sadly, it seems most don't.
11. "Take another step back and look again - you always have choices."
Close cousin of #5. I'm always sad when people try to argue with me on this one. Speaks volumes on how they see themselves in life. Do you control life or does life control you? Do you see yourself as a victim? I can't say this enough...
Life is choices. Life is choices. Life is choices. Life is choices. Life is choices. Life is choices. Life is choices. Life is choices. Life is choices. Life is choices. Life is choices. Life is choices. Life is choices. Life is choices. Life is choices. Life is choices. Life is choices. Life is choices. Life is choices. Life is choices. Life is choices. Life is choices. Life is choices. Life is choices. Life is choices. Life is choices. Life is choices. Life is choices. Life is choices. Life is choices.
2 comments:
Hey, dude.
Some good advice there .. and many of these, I can see the benifit in.
For instance .. "Baby steps can move mountains". Yep. Big time. Now, this is like erosion and it takes patience .. sometimes excruciating patience to see the results of these baby steps. In many ways, this is the essence of faith .. the belief that a payoff will come, but progress may not be inherently visible.
Another good one is "You can't succeed without first failing"
Well, that's a bit of a hard line to take .. in reality, it *is* possible to be successful in some things right off the bat. Unlikely, yes, but still possible. Much more likely though is that learning requires trials, failures, mistakes, and gradual growth. See 'baby steps', above.
Another one, that's particularly relevant in these difficult times .. "Apathy is man's greatest enemy". This, to me, is the essence of why the US Republicans are so scary .. they get away with the most ridiculous and mind-blowing stuff *because they can*, and the public at large, is either too apathetic or too browbeaten to offer much resistance.
I agree with you on most, except for one .. and it's a biggie
"You are responsible for all events in your life - so own them"
Totally disagree.
It is not humanly possible to accept responsibility for every event in a person's life. Death of a child? Terrorist bombing? Car accident? Job loss? Serious illness? How can *anyone* be held responsible for these sorts of things, which can *just happen*?
To me, it is not only useless, but dangerous to feel guilty or complicit for bad, random crap.
That being said, I fully accept that we are all responsible for our reaction to these events, and for the desire and determination to learn from them.
This, to me, is the essence of definining my boundaries in the world: I am powerless to affect many of the things I may encounter day-to-day, year-to-year, but I have full power over my reaction to them, and over my ability to grow from these experiences.
Hi xiz,
Thanks for the comments...
In regards to your comments on the saying -
"You are responsible for all events in your life - so own them".
Yes, you are indeed correct that there many events that happen to us that we can't be responsible for. Absolutely correct. But I think the advice given to me long ago refers to your reaction to these events and not so much the actual events themselves. If, for example, I got fired unfairly from my job and so I go out and rob a convenience store and get caught. Can I say - well I got unfairly let go you it's not my fault that I robbed a bank. No, you are responsible for that behavour regardless whether you were fired or not, justly or not. Another example that's perhaps more common - my car breaks down on the way to a job interview - I let it get the better of me and go through the poor-me cycle. I don't phone them and apologize - try to reschedule, instead - I use it as proof to the world that I'm not meant to succeed in life, that my life is soooooo difficult (cue the violins). I believe that's what the advice is meant to convey (at least, to me).
Cheers,
Martin.
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